10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman
Naomi Rockler-Gladen
Jun 29, 2007
No touching unless she offers!
Pregnant women get lots of smiles and good wishes-- and lots of comments that are shockingly rude! Here are some comments that are thoroughly inappropriate.
When a woman is pregnant, most people around her act appropriately. They ask her how she's feeling and express excitement about her upcoming delivery. They open doors for her and offer to carry her groceries to the car. In addition, they continue to treat her like a normal and intelligent human being. Unfortunately, a surprising number of people seem to become socially inept as soon as they stand before an expectant mother. Here are some things you should never, ever say to a pregnant woman!
1) Any and all comments about how big she is. If you're going to say anything about her appearance, it should be along the lines of, "Honey, you look gorgeous!" Don't compliment her on her lack of weight gain either-- err on the side of good manners and don't comment on her size at all. Here are some of the rude comments pregnant women often hear about their weight:
* "Oh my God, are you having twins?"
* "You're only seven months along? Geez!"
* "Wow, that baby's going to pop out at any minute!"
* "You know, my sister only gained 20 pounds when she was pregnant."
* "Oooo, your booty's getting big!"
2) "Can I touch your belly?" Don't even ask. The answer is NO. Since when did it become okay to touch strangers? If the pregnant woman is a close friend or relative, it may be appropriate to ask, but never touch without permission.
3) 'Oh my God, you're having another baby?" It doesn't matter if this is baby #4 or baby #14. Congratulate her and keep the snarky comments to yourself.
4) Any and all unsolicited advice about baby names. If she asks you if you prefer Molly or Madeline, then tell her. If not, compliment her on her name choice (and if you hate it, smile and nod). All of the following comments are inappropriate.
* "You're naming her Molly? I prefer Madeline."
* "Aiden? Wow, that's such a trendy name."
* "Arwyn? Well, that's... different."
* "Don't you think you should name your son after your grandfather?"
5) "Are you going to get him circumcised?" This is only an appropriate question if you know the woman well. You wouldn't ask a stranger about her husband's genitalia. Why would you ask about her son's?
6) "You're not going to eat that, are you?" Let the lady eat her brownie in peace. And spare her lectures about the dangers of blue cheese or honey or fish or whatever it is that you heard on the news. She's not a child, so don't tell her what to eat.
7) "Did you use fertility drugs?" This is a question pregnant women get if they're 42 or if they're having multiples. If she wants to share this information with you, she will, but it's not polite to ask people about the contents of their medicine cabinet. Besides, does it matter? However it happened, she's pregnant.
8) "Was this an oops?" The only person who should be asking this question is an OB-- or maybe a woman's best friend or mother.
9) "So do you have hemorrhoids? Mine were just awful." Lots of pregnant women love to share details about their icky pregnancy symptoms, but many do not, especially with strangers. A simple, "How are you feeling?" is sufficient.
10) Any comments about the PAIN of your own birth - "So this is your first? Oh my God, with my first, I had horrible back labor for THIRTY hours, and then I needed a C-section and was in pain for WEEKS and the baby didn't sleep through the night until she was two years old..." You get the idea. She'll know soon enough what labor feels like, poor thing, so spare her the horror stories.
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