Today is bittersweet for me....my last day of maternity leave. Zoey also turns 5 months old today....wow! Time sure has a way of ticking by so quickly. On one hand I am excited to return to my professional life as a career counselor, and I look forward to reuniting with my co-workers and regaining more of my identity as an individual woman, not just a full-time mom. I know I'll really enjoy the intellectual adult interaction, the mental stimulation and challenge that my career provides me, a REAL lunch break that doesn't involve shoveling down my food while trying to entertain my little one, and some alone time driving to and from work where I can play my music as loud as I want. : ) It will be a nice break to have some ME time, I'm sure.
But at the same time, I know it is going to be a tough transition....for all of us. I know I will miss my little girl SO MUCH, and I know she will miss me. The last week has been so wonderful with Zoey as she is now on a much more predictable napping and feeding schedule, and she has really started to embark on a much happier, easier stage of baby-hood. Months 3 & 4 were very challenging for all of us as we dealt with sleep training, reintroducing the bottle that Zoey had been rejecting, trying to get her on a routine/schedule, and just lots of unexplainable fussiness. But that rough stage seems to be coming to and end now, and Zoey is starting to become so much more silly, interactive, playful, and happy! I will miss all of our relaxing, fun-filled days at home, our peaceful walks on Alameda beach, and being the first one to witness all of her cute milestones. And to complicate matters more, I am still breastfeeding Zoey so it will be quite a challenge to pump at least twice daily at work - but I'll do my best. At least Z will be in the loving care of my sister Leah and my mother-in-law Norma...that will definitely ease my mind to know that at least Zoey is with her family in my absence.
I have to remind myself that by no means am I the first woman in the world to do this....on the contrary, millions of women out there balance career and family everyday of their lives. If so many others can do it successfully, and even come to embrace and enjoy the multiple facets of their life, I can too. It will just take some time and some getting used to, that's all. Change isn't easy, but it is inevitable....and this is my new reality. I will do my best to embrace my new identity as a working mom, and I know I will now cherish and savor every moment I have with my little Zoey even more.
Happy 5 month birthday Zoey! I love you with all my heart baby girl!
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